Well-Worn Arbuckle

Back when I started this blog, I knew my work was cut out for me. Seasons 2 and 3 had over a dozen quickies that were missing from the DVD releases, and the original U.S. Acres title cards were scarce to come by. While a lot of this stuff has turned up over the years (and some additional mysteries have come to light), something turned up recently that I didn't expect at all...

... a previously unknown quickie.

Hidden in the depths of Show 57's premiere (as part of a larger hour that also included the previous show), a Garfield Quickie was lurking that was not used in syndication, DVD, or even documented on Mark Evanier's episode list! Even the script I have only covers the international package, so I don't even know the official name! I've nicknamed it "Too Many Decisions" based on the dialogue and how these quickies tend to be titled, but that's only a rough guess.

Anyway, enough blabbering. Sit back and enjoy the Garfield Quickie that nobody even knew about!

Based on the Sunday strip from October 2, 1988, this is actually one of the most faithful adaptations I've seen from (comic) strip to screen. Humorous dialogue is added before Jon finally breaks down, and there's even some great ad-libbing from Thom Huge at the end--

"I'll wear my tuxedo! No, my T-shirt! Maybe a tuxedo with a T-shirt! Maybe my cowboy suit. Oooh, the catcher's outfit!"

The only other major standout differences I noticed are that Jon actually names Liz in the quickie, while his date isn't specified in the original. Jon's bedroom is also a lot messier in the comic strip, and in the quickie, he seems to be putting forth an extra effort to hold his pants up and keep us from seeing his polka dot underpants. Standards & Practices issue, or budget issue? Hmm...

The discovery of this quickie (or at least most of it; the only copy I'm aware of is unfortunately missing about a second at the start) brings to light another issue... what the heck happened to the U.S. Acres Quickie that was supposed to be in the episode. I went through the entire recording, and "Bouquets" was nowhere to be seen:

1990-11-17 SHOW 56/SHOW 57

Opening Line: Change channels and you'll never see your dog again.

Garfield: Mistakes Will Happen

Garfield Quickie: Hydrant

U.S. Acres: The Well Dweller

Garfield Quickie: Roll Over

U.S. Acres Quickie: Costume Trunk

Garfield: The Wise Man

Garfield Quickie: "What to Wear" [NOT ON DVD]

Garfield: Star Struck

Garfield Quickie: Loretta

U.S. Acres: Election Daze

Screaming With Binky: Cartoonist

Garfield: Dirty Business

I went through the other episodes in the season too (save Show 54, which I'm missing the premiere of), and "Bouquets" was again nowhere to be seen. Is it in the lone Season 3 premiere I don't have? Was it written for Show 57 and then never used? Is it the name of a scrapped U.S. Acres Quickie that got replaced with this mysterious Garfield Quickie instead?

So many questions. So few answers...

I'm hard at work on a detailed rundown of all the segments in Garfield and Friends. CBS, Syndication, DVD, and otherwise. It's still a work in progress, but I'm hoping to have something to share with everyone in the coming weeks.

Sludgin' Along...

You guys remember the legend of the Sludge Monster? Oh, you may think you know it. But do you know how the legend originally went?

In the appropriately-named "Sludge Monster" segment, Jon sings a number about how gross and creepy this guy is. But there some other lyrics that didn't make it to air. Here's the song as we all know it.

Now compare it to the lyrics below. Obviously "LINE TO COME" is a placeholder, which shows us how early this draft is. The rest of the lyrics are more or less consistent with the final episode, with only the "scratching post" line being completely rewritten in favor of the more drastic "stuff all thrown around" lyric. And it's probably just as well, right? This Sludge Monster guy goes after everybody, not just pets.

 

Scripting With Binky

 

Oooh, man. Here's a cool treat for you guys.

Thanks to someone who requested to remain anonymous, I now have scripts (mostly the recording scripts) for every episode of Garfield and Friends. This includes every segment in the international package, along with production codes for most of the segments, and perhaps most interestingly of all... early dialogue!

The scripts I have for the first two seasons often have lines or entire gags crossed out that didn't make it to the final episode. Usually, this is just incidental stuff that was almost certainly cut for time. But sometimes we get more insight into a scene, or a funny one-liner that wasn't meant to be.

And the best part is... I can share excerpts from them with you!

I thought it'd be cool to start off with the dialogue script for one of Binky's famous screams. First, here's the original segment so you can follow along.

And now, here's the dialogue script, which reveals a great deal of dialogue that I'm assuming was shaved off of the final segment to tighten the timing. I really like the reveal of the park's name where the segment takes place -- Krebblemyer National Park. 

Did they make the right call? Scream out your opinion in the comments! But please, go easy on the stereo equipment.

A Mailman a Day...

What's the ideal snack? An apple? Potato chips? Chocolate cake?

For Garfield, it's the mailman's pants.

Based on the strip from June 22, 1986 (below), this is yet another quickie seen in the original CBS run but missing from all modern releases. I've actually had this quickie for a good while, but timestamp issues on the disc it came on posed too much of a challenge for me to upload it back when I first started this blog, and I basically forgot about it. Having come across another copy of the quickie in the big cache of recordings that was recently shared with me, I can finally share it with y'all! A big thanks to SOA, who has identified themselves in the comments of another post.

Comparing the quickie with the comic strip original, the adaptation is pretty faithful to the original, with only a few minor tweaks. Garfield doesn't mention milk in the quickie, instead substituting that for the inarguably sillier-sounding "moo goo gai pan." The rest of the adjustments are purely visual, mostly to create a more dynamic staging. I think the quickie loses a little bit of the original's energy by not showing Garfield and the mailman on screen together, but the latter's reaction to his forthcoming fate is great.

In the original, Garfield sits (presumably watching the mailman run off), while the quickie shows him walking back home with a more mischievous look on his face. proud of what he's done. It may boil down to personal preference here, but I think the original visual has a bit more edge. I like the idea that Garfield isn't just casually doing this. Making the mailman's life miserable is as important to Garfield as kicking Odie off the table or inflating Jon's grocery bill, and he's fully into it. Even after the mailman gets away, Garfield delights in his hasty departure.

Both gags are funny, but whenever given the choice, I like my Garfield with a little bit of an edge.

Come to think of it, how much do you think the mailman spends on pants every year?

Mystery Guest Redux

"Mystery Guest" has always been one of my favorite U.S. Acres segments on Garfield and Friends. Roy always brings a comedic energy to the episodes starring him, so putting that into a story that's (for all intents and purposes) pretty random is a match made in Heaven.

Roy pops in and invites Orson to play the Mystery Guest Game. That's it. Orson's just chasing a butterfly when Roy comes in and decides "Nah, we're gonna make this episode more exciting than that." Cue the Mystery Guest theme song.

The song offers us two clues to the mystery guest -- he's not a singing raisin, and he's not painted blue. Pretty obvious nods to the California Raisins and the Smurfs.

For decades, all we saw of these character clues were their silhouettes.

Then, 9Story's restoration came along, straight from the film negative! For the first time in about thirty years, it revealed that the character images were originally uncensored. I'd assumed that the characters were animated that way, and it was changed before the episode made it to air for legal reasons. Unfortunately, the footage was cropped to widescreen, and it looked like that was all we'd ever see.

... Until a fan sent me a copy of the episode's original broadcast, revealing to me that the uncensored character images were in fact originally broadcast the way they were animated! I guess you could say we've solved the bonus round, or something.

Here's the entire uncensored first stretch of the song, seen in its proper aspect ratio for the first time in nearly 35 years.

Why not sing along? You know you want to.

Can you guess the Mystery Guest?

Take a shot and give it your best

If you need help, I'll give you a clue

He's not a singing raisin, and he's not painted blue

If you're at home and you've got the gall

Pick up your telecan and give us a call

Use your brain -- but, wait, that's not fair!

I forgot that there's nothing there!

Ha ha ha ha!

I'd Like it to Go, Please!

The Screaming With Binky "Pizza" segment has remained at the top of my Garfield "wants" list since I began this blog. A copy eventually turned up on YouTube, but the quality was poor and the last several seconds were missing. This was also the only Binky quickie I couldn't find any other trace of. I'd given up all hope...

Then, a fan unexpectedly reached out on a Patreon I've started for an unrelated project, and lo and behold... there it was, sitting among a trove of several dozen Garfield and Friends recordings, almost entirely from the CBS broadcasts. It's not the entire series, but it's given me a lot to write about!

The long lost "Pizza" segment is easily among Binky's best screams. The real highlight is the impressive tongue twister in Garfield's narration:

"Here at Portofino Pizzacato's Pepperoni Pizza Parlor, Portofino Pizzacato prepares pepperoni pizza. Practicing pepperoni pizza pitching requires almost as much skill as reading this page of script."

I can't tell who's showing off more -- Mark Evanier or Lorenzo Music? Probably both.

Enjoy this relic from Garfield's past, and please, whatever you do... don't put anchovies on your pizza. Even if Portofino has that as an option. That's just wrong, man.

The Garfield Shuffle

Let's recap what we know so far -- When Garfield and Friends was repackaged for international distribution and domestic syndication, segments and opening gags (those witty one-liners at the end of the theme song) got shuffled around or omitted entirely. While the 9Story restorations reinstate references to U.S. Acres as originally aired (mostly), they are otherwise formatted exactly like the international broadcasts and FOX DVD releases. 

 So what's the point of this post? 

 Well, a cache of recordings somebody recently shared with me (more on that soon!) revealed something to me that I was unaware of... the "Garfield Shuffle" as we'll call it dates back to the original CBS run! When earlier episodes were rerun during at least Season 4, the packaging was completely shuffled around. Quickie segments were either switched around or added to episodes they were never originally a part of. Garfield's opening lines were also altered for episodes in this rerun package. Gag lines I previously believed to have been recorded only for the international package were in fact used in these CBS reruns. Sometimes as many as three quickies in a row would be aired. 

 The whole thing's a mess that warrants a much longer, more in-depth post to show just how crazy things can get. But for simplicity's sake, I'll illustrate this with segment breakdown for a Season 2 episode. 

1989-10-14 - SHOW 22/SHOW 23 

Garfield Quickie: Country Club 

Opening Line: Eat and be lazy, kids, and someday you'll have your own show too. 

Garfield: Pros and Cons 

Garfield Quickie: Hungry 

U.S. Acres: Rooster Revenge 

Garfield: Lights! Camera! Garfield! 

U.S. Acres Quickie: Morning Blast 

Garfield: Polecat Flats 

U.S. Acres Quickie: The Race 

Garfield Quickie: Snacking 

U.S. Acres: Hogcules 

Garfield: Brain Boy 

1991/2-xx-xx - SHOW 22/SHOW 23 (RERUN)

Opening Line: Change channels and you'll never see your dog again. 

Garfield: Pros and Cons 

Garfield Quickie: Hungry 

U.S. Acres: Rooster Revenge 

Garfield: Lights! Camera! Garfield! 

Garfield: Polecat Flats 

U.S. Acres Quickie: The Race 

Garfield Quickie: Snacking 

U.S. Acres: Hogcules 

U.S. Acres Quickie: Morning Blast 

Garfield: Brain Boy 

Garfield Quickie: Country Club 

International - Show 22 

Garfield Quickie: Country Club 

Opening Line: Eat and be lazy, kids, and someday you'll have your own show too. 

Garfield: Pros and Cons 

U.S. Acres Quickie: The Race 

U.S. Acres: Rooster Revenge 

Garfield: Lights! Camera! Garfield! 

International - Show 23 

Garfield Quickie: Snacking 

Opening Line: Eat and be lazy, kids, and someday you'll have your own show too. 

Garfield: Polecat Flats 

U.S. Acres Quickie: Morning Blast 

U.S. Acres: Hogcules 

Garfield: Brain Boy 

 As you can see, this one example is all over the map. Segments originally in the Show 22 half have been redesignated to Show 23 and vice versa. The "Hungry" quickie is completely absent in all modern releases of these episodes. My long term goal is for this blog to serve as a reference point for Garfield fans with keen editing skills to faithfully reconstruct the series as originally broadcast. Garfield and Friends was a key player in the TV animation renaissance of the late 80s and early 90s, and I firmly believe the series should be seen in the most complete form possible. Of course, this means a lot more research, a lot more documentation of things that have been overlooked for decades... and maybe a snack or two while I'm at it. 

 Professor CDCB is on the case.